The Drunken Hooker

4 May

So, I just changed my shop name on a whim. All previous links will work for 30 days, but my new shop name is: TheDrunkenHooker


Just thought you should all know!


Need to move some stuff! I’m BRIBING again!

3 May

I have an abundance of Crochet.Rock.It items that are already made and ready to move, and although I’m working on 2 different orders RIGHT NOW, I have the next week to work steadily on more (will be at parent’s with sitters! Woot!). So, I’m bribing you all with another coupon code:


Use it to get 10% off your order when checking out on (opens in new tab) .

Accept it. I am awesome and you want to buy something from me, right? RIGHT?! Let me show you a few of my most recent additions to the store:

Ruffled Bottom Rainbow Bright Diaper Cover

Adjustable Ruffled Bottom Diaper Cover with Removable Flower

Minnie Mouse Bottomless Baby/Toddler Sandals

Crocheted Suede Cord Headband with Removable Rose (can be used solo as hair clip) for Adults

Crocheted Neapolitan Rose Hair Clips

Crocheted Suede Cord and Big Red Rose (not removable) Headband

Plus, there is more, so go check it out and help me move it! If you don’t find anything you want, pass along the coupon code (UNDOMHOUSEWIFE10) and link ( ) to someone you think will! Don’t forget, I love custom orders!


That is all. I will return soon with “Shit Husbands Do That Drives Us Crazy”. Be on the lookout!


I got a new Hair Did.

Oddly Comfortable With Myself..

25 Apr

I have spent the last 11 years or so trying to lose weight or “fix” my body in one way or another. Every year, I’d look at pictures of myself from the year before and I’d wish I still looked like that. In 2010, I was wishing I looked like I had in 2009. In 2011, I was wishing I looked like I had in 2010. I’d spend so much time on my scale and wishing I looked different, that I never appreciated how I looked at that time. I was never happy with myself.

I currently weigh about 10-15 lbs more than I did last summer; however, I weigh about 15 lbs less than I did 6 months ago. I started Abilify at the end of last summer and gained 30 lbs from mid-July til the end of October (when I quit taking the Abilify). Last year, when I first reached this weight–on my way UP in weight–I cried. This time–as my weight dropped back down to this weight, I am happy. I am comfortable.

I finally feel perfectly happy in the clothes that I wear. I know I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I don’t care. I am heavier than I have ever been naturally (meaning, not postpartum or due to medication), but I’m okay with that. My clothes fit fine, my husband thinks I look great (he’s an ass man, my weight gain works in his favor), and I don’t feel stressed. If my new medication makes me lose weight (common side effect), great. If I stay the same weight, great.

I still wear a bikini and don’t give a shit if some random person thinks I need to cover up. Too bad! I still wear shorts and dresses, and I have always hated my legs. It feels good to not hate them so much anymore.

One thing I do want to change, is my health. I eat crap food and should really start eating healthier. I’ll work on it. But, my focus is on getting healthy and gaining energy …maybe relieve myself of some of this constant brain fog. If I don’t lose an ounce, though, I won’t shed any tears.

I feel happier now and less stressed. My husband is happy with me and I’m happy with me, and that’s all that matters, right? Life is too short to stress about what everyone else thinks.

I like Oreos.

Abilify can suck it.

For my fellow military peoples!

9 Apr

Well, Hubby is getting out soon and I have this parachute cord lying around and have been trying to figure out what the hell to do with it. I finally found one thing..

Homecoming, anyone? It is now listed in my store and I am super excited about it! What do you think?

By the way, I am going to be posting more tomorrow about this whole getting-out-of-the-military-and-trying-to-move shit!

A little sum’n, sum’n for my an extra special something–an ADORABLE PICTURE OF MY NEPHEW!

8 Apr

How about some free shipping at Crochet.Rock.It ? For the next week (until next Sunday), you can use the code FREESHIP1 to get free shipping on your orders! Will that get anyone pumped enough to go buy some shit? Surely you know SOME little girl in need of something adorable?! Besides, if you check back later this week.. I am almost positive that I will have something available for baby boys.. I DO have an ADORABLE nephew, and he badly needs Auntie to crochet something for him. For realz.  Look at him.

He is the cutest thing, right? Well, I have to make him something, so moms of boys, be watching the shop (If I don’t get something boyish in there by Sunday, I’ll extend the coupon)! By the way, this sweet little munchkin  is going to be a big brother in November and I cannot wait! CROCHETED BABY EVERYTHING! It’s going to be a little Leela (or some other spelling of that name), I’m sure (she isn’t actually far enough along for us to know what it will be yet. Just trying to convince my sister that she should go with that name. Sugar picked it last time Sis#1 was pregnant, it has some sort of family significance on the dad’s side of the family, AND I can already imagine naming an entire line of crocheted baby girl somethings after her. IF it is another nephew, I will-OF COURSE-be just as freaking thrilled! I am just glad SOMEONE is continuing to have babies so I don’t have to hopelessly long for one. That little guy up there just melts me. I can’t stop smiling when he giggles or grins at me. Of course, my own children melt me still.. but there is nothing like those first baby belly laughs and toothless smiles! /sigh.

Anyway, go buy some shit. FREESHIP1 @ Crochet.Rock.It

OH! AND! Here is a preview of some of the things you can get in my store right now..

Sugar’s Beachies..

7 Apr

I am working on a separate blog for this stuff, but until then.. aren’t they adorable? I had to free write the pattern, so it took me a while to get them right, but I think I finally got it!  I’ve also got them listed for $18 in my store!  I am currently working on a black pair with hot-pink rose!

Baby Beachies! CrochetRockIt

5 Apr

Check out my baby toe-thongs in my new store at CrochetRockIt!

They fit like this:

%d bloggers like this: