Oh, The SHAME!

14 Jun

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This photo is going around right now and, not surprisingly, many are calling it abuse. Mental abuse. Humiliating, yes, but..abuse? Ehh…

What say you good people out there? Is this mental abuse? What is your opinion on this type of discipline, in general?

Here is my comment on the post on Babble.com’s Facebook (plus a little more detail), summing up my opinion:

I can’t believe this is seriously being dubbed as abuse by some people. That’s laughable, at best. I got caught at a party when I was 15. My dad carried me and my best friend out over his shoulders. I was forever known as “the girl whose dad busted up the Hope Lake party”. It was humiliating! HOWEVER:

1.) Nothing my parents did led me to that party. I lied and left a football game to go. Peer pressure led me there.

2.) I didn’t lose respect for my parents. I still trusted them, though I was temporarily (very) angry. I understood even then WHY they did what they did.

3.) I learned a valuable lesson: don’t sneak off to parties, I will get caught. It wasn’t my last party, but it definitely slowed me down.

4.) To compare being humiliated for making a stupid choice to being abused HAS TO BE a serious slap in the face to anyone who has ever been mentally abused. My parents were not abusive and, in my opinion, neither is this mother.

5.) My parents are wonderful, amazing people. I love them and respect them. I have never feared them, but I did expect to be appropriately punished for things I did wrong. At 26, my mom is NOW my best friend. I thank God she didn’t try to be my BFF back then.

According to one reader, the mom said this in response:

“Some said the public humiliation would have long-term effects, that she would hate me forever for this. You have to know your child. I wouldn’t do this on my middle child because I don’t think she can emotionally handle it. But this one, she’ll be just fine. Yes, I got the ‘you’re ruining my life’ rant, but after a few hours, she was trying to figure out how she can start an organization at her school to raise awareness about social media responsibility.”

Your thoughts?

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5 Responses to “Oh, The SHAME!”

  1. lashumway June 15, 2012 at 1:59 am #

    So not abuse, it looks suspiciously like parenting to me. Actions have consequences–of all the possible consequences of underage drinking, this seems pretty darn mild to me.

  2. Leslie P. June 15, 2012 at 7:08 am #

    Looks like a mom who’s found a way to use social media as a handy “parenting” tool. Clever, effective (one hopes) and yes, definitely not abuse. (I also appreciate that she realizes that her other daughter couldn’t handle this tactic.) Kudos, and best of luck, to her!

  3. idreaminvintagemeghan June 15, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    this is not abuse…this ia appropriate consequences matching the crime parenting! i used to be a therapist and parents are so scared to do appropriate discipline plans w/ their children. the comments on the side, however, about whooping and beating w/ shoes…that is another story.

  4. Jennifer Lee June 15, 2012 at 2:34 pm #

    It’s better than the man who destroyed his daughter’s laptop in that video on youtube!

  5. Kasey K. McCarver (@wildeirish28) June 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm #

    I would like to know when we became such a politically correct society. When it became the norm to call “corporal punishment” abuse. I know the difference, and you know the difference…but when the hell did the rest of the world forget? Or was it changed only to suit the idea that everyone is so special at EVERYTHING even if they aren’t, and any kind of public stupidity shown through eyes that know what could happen and the problems that would go with it, started to backfire! Helloooooooooo!!!!! Have you SEEN the children today? If you are too afraid to punish your child because of what others will say, than your parenting skills need a little “Come to Jesus” meeting.

    I think this is fantastic for a kid who knows what she did wrong…b/c she did it twice…and the mother knew she could handle it. No two kids are alike when it comes to being kids, and they each need a different perspective in punishment/love/care/tolerance what have you. My sister and I are perfect examples and from the start, my mother knew that we would never be in time out for the same reasons, never get called into the office for the same reasons (except maybe in the shorts/skirts are too short b/c your arms are much longer than the norm and your legs are as well and it just doesn’t measure up), and that we would respond to each with different behaviors. If this mother says she knows her kid, she knows her kid. No ifs, ands, or buts. There is NO double standard! Here, here for this mama who can give as good as she gets!

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