Bottle of Wine: $19.99, Cheesecake: $8.49, Fifteen Minutes of Silence: PRICELESS

8 Mar

I love my family. I really, really do. Those 3 people are my heart, my life…they are my world. I really do LOVE being a stay at home mom and once both kids are in school, I will probably spend my days wishing I had these days back. I rant about them a lot, but I truly do enjoy my family.

Now, with that said, can everyone just calm the eff down for a minute? Please? Dayum!

Here is a little PSA:

Moms get over-stimulated, too!

All day long, the kids are yelling:

Mommy! Mommy! Mom..momma..moooommmmmmaaaaa! I’m hungry! I’m thirsty! Wipe me! I want chocolate milk! No, regular milk! I wanted JUUUIIICCCEEE! I said I needed to be wiped! Can I go outside? Can I come inside? Can I go pee? Can I sit down? Can I stand up? Can I spin in a circle? Can I breath air? Hey, mommy! Watch what I can do! OWWWWW! I did that thing you told me not to do and I hurt myself on the coffee table! WHY DID YOU PUT THE COFFEE TABLE THERE?! Little girls can jump off the couch and get HURT when you put coffee tables in the living room! FEEEEED MEEEEE!

Meanwhile, in the background, the tv is screaming:

Spongebob Squarepants, spongebob squarepants, spongebob squarepants, sponnnngebobbb squarepannnnnnts…

…and all I can do is lock myself in the bathroom for 2 minutes, sit in the empty tub, and rock back and forth while hugging my knees and loudly singing Livin’ On A Prayer. I pray that Hubby will hurry home to help out, but the second he walks through the door:

(((CHILDREN)), Hubby, [Television]

(((DADDDDDDDYYYYY!!!))) Hey! What have you been doing all day? (((I’m SOOO hungry!))) Where are my jeans? Can we eat? Did you lay anything out? [Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants..] (((*Samurai loudly sings made up song*))) Have you seen my shoes? Hey, will you come help me for a minute? Babe? Baby? (((Can I have a popsicle??))) Why do you look so stressed? I know, I’ll turn the TV up really loud– as though I have a legitimate hearing problem! That will make you feel better! (((Mom! Come in the bathroom..I pottied and it looks funny..))) About dinner..Why are your eyes burning holes into my skull? Oh, you want the TV louder? [It’s the best day EVVVEEERRRR..] (((She’s looking at ME!)))


My smidgen of remaining sanity… my livelihood… my ability to love–each relies heavily on two things:

My kids’ bedtime and Hubby’s nightly shower

Those 15-20 minutes are so refreshing. That’s all it takes to be reminded of all the reasons I’ve never actually run away. During that sacred time, I get to drink wine, I get to stuff my face with whatever junk I can find without anyone seeing the animal I really am, and I get to do it—in total frickin’ silence.


PRICELESS.

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7 Responses to “Bottle of Wine: $19.99, Cheesecake: $8.49, Fifteen Minutes of Silence: PRICELESS”

  1. Molly March 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm #

    I get it! At first I was upset when my hubby put a 2nd Xbox in the garage, but now I find myself encouraging him to go out there and shoot zombies so I can have some time to myself! And yes, that usually involves wine. And chocolate.

  2. Fefe March 8, 2012 at 10:57 pm #

    I love it, I love it, I love it. This is soooo true.

  3. mommybabyspot March 9, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    Ha! you’re so right…I live for that magical hour right after both kids are sleeping like angels and I can take a deep breath. Then I ruin it by remembering all the work I have to get done and do that instead of taking a nice relaxing shower…ugh! Thanks for the smile 🙂

  4. poetryofamadman March 11, 2012 at 3:02 am #

    I’ve grown tired of cat pictures on the internet but that cat is pimp.

  5. Marie March 14, 2012 at 10:05 pm #

    So true!
    Yeah, all the work can wait… Until they pile up…!

    Take care!

  6. Kathleen Scanlon-Desio March 20, 2012 at 7:17 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! I remember those days but now my kids are in school so bedlam doesn’t start till 3pm. Now it is all about homework, projects, after-school activites, keeping them from bickering etc.

    Thanks for sharing and making me laugh 🙂

    http://longislandchick.com

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