“The Look”–I Have More Than One

I am a woman of many talents. Communicating With A Look/Glare is one of them.

The Mom Look:

My kids know The Mom Look. When they are doing something they aren’t supposed to, I give them The Mom Look and they stop. I don’t use this nearly enough. I forget how effective it is until I use it and realize that I have just accomplished everything I needed to, but without the yelling or threats of stringing my little angels up in a tree by their toenails.

The “Stop Talking Before You Say Something You Can’t Take Back” Look:

My husband ought to know this look fairly well. It’s pretty self-explanatory. Hubby sometimes starts down a long, dark road of well-meaning criticism (he thinks he is “helping me”) that usually just comes out sounding like insult after insult. This look usually informs him that I am not pleased with him and he is not being helpful.

The “Are You That F’ing Stupid?!” Look:

Often given to people in public places, this is an obvious, exaggerated look. I have tried to hide my expression, on occasion, to keep from offending anyone…but I am not very good at it. I’ve caught a glimpse of myself giving the look to a woman in a bathroom and realized then that there was no mistaking it–she knew exactly what my face was asking, “Are you that f’ing stupid?” She brought her male child into the women’s restroom and ripped his pants down in front of me and my children, so she could practically BEAT his bare bottom. I won’t get into a spanking debate, but come on. Take it to the stall, at least. Humiliation is a terrible form of punishment.

The “If Looks Could Kill” Look:

My husband has seen it a few times. Honestly, it’s a good thing looks CANNOT kill, because I have given it to quite a few people, whom I really do love dearly. Most recently, 2 strangers got to see it. The first: A man at Target, allowing his child to spank and yell at his toddler, as if the child were the parent. I gave him the look, combined with the Are You That F’ing Stupid look.. at close range. I just stopped, stood there, and glared until he was fully aware my glaring and decided to take his cart and walk away.

The second man: A man in Flash Foods.. Hubby sometimes brings home scratch off tickets. We usually keep the winning tickets until we need the money. Recently, I went out of town to visit my family. On my way out, I decided to cash in the tickets for gas and vacation money. It was only $125 worth of them, but still.. So, I hand the cashier the tickets, he scans them, and THEN informs me that he will only be able to give me $50 in cash, the rest will have to go on a money order. Um, no thanks, give me the tickets back and I’ll take them elsewhere. He can’t.. he has already scanned them in and they are no longer valid. Excuse me? Shouldn’t I have been informed that the policy at this particular store was $50 cash only? The cashier is new, he didn’t know. “Well, that isn’t my fault. I should have been informed. I don’t have a physical bank to use to cash a money order, I have USAA..” The manager? “Well, it’s not MY fault that you decided to come here to cash them.” Death glare x200. I also caused a huge scene and had there been children present (there were not), they would have probably been scarred after hearing the things that came out of my mouth. It wasn’t pretty.

I also have the “I’m Completely Uninterested In What You Are Saying” Look, the “Don’t Even Think About It” Look, and the “PLEASE, For Me?” Look.